Front Porch View: memoir of a young girls spiritual awakening (excerpt)


The title “Front Porch View” just came to me one morning. Seconds after the title came, I was told (by inner guidance) to go to my bedroom closet and to look in a shoe box on the top shelf on the right-hand side. I intuitively dug towards the bottom of the box where I found the picture shown on the cover of this book. That is me sitting on my front porch in May of 1962, I was eight years old at that time. Having just been given the title, “Front Porch View” I knew not only that this book had to be written but why I was given the title, what it meant and what this book would be about.

Chapter One: Living the Dream:

In Spring of 1962 I sat barefoot, wearing a cotton dress, playing with my baby doll on the worn linoleum floor.  In my mind my baby doll was real. I sang quietly as I held her in my arms, “Rock-a-bye, baby, in the treetop - when the wind blows, the cradle will rock, when the bough breaks, the cradle will fall and down will come baby, cradle and all.”  Gently laying my doll down on a blanket pretending that she had gone to sleep, I pulled my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around my legs, swaying back and forth as I continued singing rock-a-bye baby.  Feeling a little sleepy myself I wanted to close my eyes and lay down with my doll, for some reason I was gazing up towards the ceiling of the room.  I realized I was above myself looking down at myself sitting on the floor.  I wondered how I could be up there and sitting on the floor.  Which one was I?  It seemed like I was both the observer and the one being observed.  I also felt another presence that seemed to fill the room. This presence spoke to me.  I felt a peacefulness that was safe and loving.  The presence instructed me to put on my shoes and to go outside and sit down on the front porch.  Without hesitation I stood up, found my shoes, slipped them on without tying them and walked towards the front door.  I somehow knew to trust and to follow.  As I opened the front door and stepped out onto the porch, I felt a breeze blowing across my skin as I looked up into the sky as if I was seeing it for the first time.  The colors of the sky and trees were so bright, it seemed like everything was more alive, as I sat down on the porch even the wood of the porch seemed alive and beautiful to me. I waited for further instructions. I was very aware of my physical body, it felt like there was an electric current pulsating through me from head to toe, then toe to head. Pulsing, circulating, back and forth until the electric current seemed to exit the top of my head and the electric energy was now connected to everything around me. Everything was electric energy, alive and pulsating.

As the experience continued, I realized there was a conversation happening between the energy in me and the energy all around me. I understood everything.  I experienced download after download of knowledge, a kind of cellular encoding, I felt entranced by the light and energy that seemed to be pouring down from an opening in the sky and entering the top of my head and into my being.  There really was no logical understanding of how this was happening. It felt natural, I was trusting and somehow knowing it was meant to be. 

I have no recollection of the timeframe.  How long had I been sitting there?  Time seemed to stand still.  As the energy began to lessen, it seemed like the opening in the sky began closing.  Again, I felt/heard the presence speak. “You are being given a choice in this moment between how the world will try to define you and what you already know is the true you, your soul. If you choose the worldly definition, over time you will forget the true you and what you are experiencing now, a connection to all that is. There is not a wrong choice, but you do have to choose, your choice will decide your destiny in this lifetime”.

I knew that the choice meant that either I would surrender to a persona that had not yet begun to develop or I would become one with the life inside of me (my soul) and the connection to all of life, a kind of seamless existence. I knew that the choice of forgetting meant that I would believe the limitations of the physical form, physical senses and what the world would tell me about who I am.  I could not choose to forget. Somehow, I knew that choosing to forget would be like trying to put a genie back into a bottle knowing that it would never be set free again. I chose liberation, I chose my soul.

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