What are feelings? Who defined them as Anger, Sadness, Joy and all the ones in between? If we take the words away and all the definitions we have attached to them, would feelings not just be waves of energy, without the definitions that judge some as good and some as bad? Isn’t it our thinking mind that creates this judgment? Isn’t it our expectations of what should and shouldn’t be, that one feeling is better than another our judgments of “right and wrong” that create suffering?
It seems to me that if we are in a place of Love, Acceptance, and Oneness with what is in this moment (even those above mentioned have definition and attachments), if we take away all definition, all labels, what we have left is pure awareness. Pure Awareness is a place of bliss, of so called enlightenment. If we profess a belief in Oneness and are not in bliss, then we are not in Oneness, we are in separation.
So, if pure awareness is such a great place why is it that most people don’t live there? We don’t live there because most of us are not here. If you are not here, where are you? We spend most of our lives not really in our lives, in ourselves. Most of us are trying to change what was, what will be and what is. Where does that leave us? We spend our lives in a state of projection. Projecting ourselves somewhere else then the place of what is, right here, right now. In a way we enter into a virtual reality, not a “real” reality. Trying to control anything is what prevents the experience of pure awareness, bliss, enlightenment (all the same thing). There may be things in the past that we have a hard time letting go of because we were hurt by something or someone and we can’t forgive (let go). Or possibly something in the past felt so great that we want that feeling back. Even if we have glimpsed bliss, pure awareness, enlightenment and it was so wonderful we want to get it that back. We cannot get it back from the place of wanting and desire, we can only have that experience again by allowing it to be, because the truth is pure awareness / enlightenment is always there, we leave it, all we need to do is surrender our virtual realities and open up to it.
We sometimes anticipate the future, we want to make it different, make it more than the now, this moment. We cannot truly be here now if we are not here now…sounds funny doesn’t it? Where do we go if we are not present? If we are not here, where are we? Are we living our lives in a fantasy, a dream?
From the place of anticipation, expectation and desire there is no way to touch pure awareness, because the minute we want more then what is, we enter a state of lack, not enough. In trying to gain something more, we lose everything. When we understand that who we are and what we have right here, right now is enough, we open ourselves up to pure awareness /enlightenment.
It has been said that depression comes from not letting go of the past (being stuck) anxiety is anticipating something that has not happened yet (the future). If we let go of both and stay in pure awareness would we experience depression or anxiety?
Some of us will wrestle with the acceptance of this truth our whole lives by bouncing back and forth between past and future, depression and anxiety….struggle, struggle….suffer, suffer…In a way this is a form of insanity, illusion, trickery with our own minds.
Even “Love” has been given a definition. Definitions that we try to live up to and if people don’t fit those definitions then it is not love. From the place of “Pure Awareness”, there is no imperfection; everything is perfect just as it is….everything, everyone, every creature, every experience…perfect.
A line from a song comes to mind, ”If you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you’re with.” Maybe that one is you! And from the place of loving you, you love all, you love everything, you are love!
Somewhere along my way through life, I stopped knowing pure awareness. I started believing something, someone, outside myself that gave me the message that I was not enough just as I was. They fed me poison and I ate it. I was bombarded with do this, don’t do that, be productive etc, etc. I realize now that a lot of my angst and disturbance came from my reactions to these messages. The intrusion into a world that I was experiencing as blissful, I was in pure awareness, I was pure awareness. But there were so many who seemed to be marching towards some set goal/goals of what we are “supposed” to be and to do. Their duty was to teach me what I was supposed to be, for my own good. They meant well. Did I really have to become something, to be something…to become someone to be someone??? Maybe it is in the becoming that we lose what is most valuable, our being.
I was living in bliss “pure awareness” at ten years of age when I wrote…..
On this day – the sun shines – for no one, for everyone
The birds sing their song – for no one, for everyone
A butterfly breaks from his cocoon – for no one, for everyone
A rose slowly comes to bloom – for no one, for everyone
I write and I am – for no one, for everyone
The sun did not have to shine brighter; the birds did not have to sing louder, I did not have to day dream of something more than that moment. In order to dream you have to be asleep, and at that moment I was awake, I knew I was perfect just the way I was. I was as bright and warm as the sun, as cheery as the birds, as free as the butterfly and as beautiful as the rose, I still am, and so are you!